Medieval Times – A Knight’s Tale/Game of Thrones Mashup

In a true return to BnBwBnB form, today Bina and Brady go through the villains of Brady’s favorite movie, A Knight’s Tale.  Then, if that wasn’t enough Medieval-esque content for you, we butcher remembering what happened in Game of Thrones Season 7 and vaguely attempt to predict what is going to happen in Season 8.  It may not be the recap the fans wanted… but it is the recap that travesty of a season deserved.  Here’s hoping Season 8 can right the ship!

Plus, everyone’s favorite (original) segment “Am I Dumb?” is back and dumber than ever.

Buckle up for this one guys. I may have been a little drunk.

Women CAN be funny – But also, can they? – A review of Amy Schumer’s Leather Special

We have come to the moment I have been dreading for months, the culmination of the latest of the dumb bets.  A little back story on why Bina/Nick chose a comedy special as my punishment.  I hate Amy Schumer.  I think that it is an absolute mockery that she is even considered a comedian.  Someone once put this special on in my room, and I got up walked out of my own room without saying anything because I was so livid.  I tried my best to Jedi mind trick Bina into making me watch the Giants ruin the Patriots’ perfect season instead.  Think about that. I was choosing to watch the Patriots lose to an Eli Manning led Giants team instead of watching this special.  I have regularly described (along with most of Patriots fans) that game as the worst moments in my sports fandom.  But now I would argue that me having to write this running diary is Tom Brady’s greatest failure in his career.  Giants be damned, not delivering me from this evil is one of the biggest travesty in sports…So without further gilding the lily and with no more adieu, I present the worst hour of my content consuming life.

10:25 am – Well it’s happening guys… they are making me watch the shittiest comedian – Amy Schumer

10:26 am: This opening makes it seem like people actually like her… do people like her?

10:27 am: The leather special is probably… Waittt did she ask “What the fuck is up?” as her opener?

10:28 am: we are 1 minute in and she has cussed out the audience 3 times now.

10:29 am: If you know that you are going to regret this leather special… why are we doing this? Can we just not? Side note – I would never describe someone who sent nude pics out as brave…

10:32 am: At this point, I am thinking to myself “Why did nick get to watch an hour of football highlights, yet I have to listen to this lady talk about her pussy for an hour? Doesn’t seem fair…”

10:33 am: “My pussy smells like a small barnyard animal..” the exact moment comedy died.

10:35 am:  She is going to murder someone who won’t go down on her? Honestly feels like she should be on some sort of list for that or something..  ANNDD we just switched to blow job jokes – shout out to Bina for predicting the future 2 minutes ago. Never a good sign when you can predict jokes from the couch

10:39 am:  Good ole softball jokes, got the first genuine laughter out of Bina.  Update on my level of self-hatred right now – we are sitting at a solid 7.5/10

10:42 am: Finally the credit we deserve as the male gender – we definitely work so much harder than women at having sex. Probably.  We are now shifting the conversation to “Where should I cum?”.  Really earth shattering stuff here – the pinnacle of comedic writing

10:45 am:  We have arrived at our first accent!!!  It’s a British accent to ask where we should cum.  She is destroying international relations, one sex joke at a time.

10:47 am:  Men always fall asleep after sex. Hilarious.  We are definitely the worst of the genders

10:49 am:  24 minutes straight of sex jokes!  This seems like some sort of record, can someone check the Guinness book to see if this qualifies?

10:51 am:  It sounded like a good idea last night when we were drunk to do this early morning… But I should have known this wouldn’t help my hangover…

10:51 am: We have shifted away from sex jokes finally, and now on to violent diarrhea sound for a minute straight… annnd back to sex jokes.  Does this count as breaking the streak she had going?  Can we get a ruling on this?  I was hoping that she would go for an hour straight. That would show some serious resolve

10:55 am:  Bina update – he has gotten his calzone.  The funniest thing that has happened in the past 30 minutes. Jesus… I have only been watching this for 30 minutes, can this please be over?

10:56 am:  I feel like I am typing in circles here, but we are back to blow job jokes. 10-12 years is definitely wayyyy too long for a blow job, very funny bit here. AND we are back to the blackout story from 10 minutes ago.  I am convinced she only wrote 2 jokes for an hour special

11:01 am: Wait… Is Amy Schumer dating Seth Rogen?  Do I have to hate Seth Rogen now?

11:05 am: She is now shifting the talk to gun rights.  This is the biggest twist since The Sixth Sense.  I definitely did not see this show becoming political.

11:07 am: Either we are making up statistics, or I am learning terrifying facts about our country.  “There are more gun stores than there are McDonalds and Starbucks combined, in America.”  I don’t really have a point here, we are just learning here

11:10 am:  I am not touching this too fat bit with a ten foot pole. We will just let this one go.

11:12 am:  Checking in with the guy from Guinness, he assured me we are in range for most one-off anal jokes in an hour.  Hoping we can get there

11:14 am: Why are we switching from anal jokes to showing pictures of her sister?  This seems like weird familial bonding.  I hope this special somehow gets destroyed before we meet aliens, because I don’t want anyone thinking this is how actual humans interact

11:16 am:  If you chafe so much that you bleed between your thighs… why are we standing up here in a leather suit?  This cannot be conducive to your anti-crotch bleeding cause.

11:17 am:  Now we are making fun of paddleboards, and Nick is absolutely offended.

11:18 am: I was just told to shut the fuck up for not wanting to fuck Bradley Cooper.  None of my “holes are wet” when I think about him, but I guess I might be wrong here.

11:19 am: By my calculations… We only have about 5 minutes left in this, and we have done it!  The record is broken. Truly a beautiful day.

11:20 am: Our third roommate has walked in and sparked conversation.  This is the best!  I don’t have to listen to the final 3 minutes of this special and it’s phenomenal.  The best thing… shit he left and I can hear again.

11:22 am:  What a trial this has been. They say what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger… but I just feel sad and alone.

Final thoughts – Shame on Denver for allowing this trash to be filmed in their city.  This was a very hard experience to write about this and also not sound sexist here, so in the worst case scenario that I come across that way, there are three things I am definitely sure about. 1) Women can be funny.  2) This woman is not funny. 3) Fuck the Eagles.

 

Written by Brady Culbreth

Bet Updates March 2018

Listen this episode as Bina and Brady recount what maybe the most traumatic experience in Brady’s young life… the punishment for this years NFL Playoff bet.  We also give updates on the state of the famous March Madness bet, and what madness is unfolding there.

If you want to be included on the email blast for the running diary, please send your email address to either of us in the next few days. We have 30 spaces available, so be quick!

Trilogy Time – Fixing the Tournament: First Blood part 3

We are back in action! Side note, we have to say “we are back” way too often… you are probably thinking “why don’t they just consistently release an episode on a schedule?” – To which we say, “Yeah”.  But anyway, thanks for sticking with our inconsistencies.

Today, we return to our favorite podcast topic – Fixing the NCAA Basketball Tournament! Listen as we struggle to think of original ideas in the third installment.

Book Club – Name of the Wind

We have finally done it!  We have found a way to alienate our entire audience this week by recommending a dying medium, a book.  Join us as we do our best to convince our audience to stop watching Netflix, curl up by the fire and read my favorite book series since Harry Potter.

If you haven’t read this book, we cannot recommend this book enough.  If you have read this book, this is a terrible synopsis – I recommend just spending your time reading this book again.  Actually, everyone – just turn this podcast off and go read the book instead.

Fictional Sporting Events

Special Valentines Day Podcast! I know what everyone thinks of when ole ‘Valley’ Day (guh, I hate myself for putting this in here) rolls around… that’s right sports events in everyone’s favorite fictional universes.  Listen today as Bina and Brady discuss which fictional events they most want to tell their fictional kids about. 

 

Fixing the XFL (ft. Nick Jewell)

On today’s episode, we bring back our regular guest host, Nick Jewell, to talk about our on going NFL Playoff Survivor bet and dive into our Super Bowl (Ball)expectations.  We also react to the shocking news that the XFL is coming back and do our best to offer our ideas and fixes to the great Vince McMahon.

Sports Conspiracies ft. LP (Re-Air)

With everyone spending time with their family for the holidays, we are giving you a chance to escape the madness… with more madness!  Here is an episode from our archives in which we go over some of the best sports conspiracies of the past, present, and future.